Have you ever been hurt by a Church, Pastor, or other
Christian? I bet you have! If you have been in Christian circles for any length
of time something unpleasant has most likely happened to you. The really
difficult thing about this is that these are the places and people who are
supposed to lift us up; the Church is where we should go to receive strength
and encouragement. So that makes the betrayal all the more painful. Over the
years I have ministered in some very fine churches to wonderful people, but in
every one of those places I have been wounded. I am not writing this as an
indictment against the Church or Christians, but to help guide you towards a proper
and healthy response.
Way too many people who have experienced this kind of pain
respond in a way that actually hinders the healing and furthers the hurt. There
are a couple of things I want you to remember...
1. Jesus was also wounded by the religious
people of His day. After all we were told that the things that happened to
Jesus would happen to us too. So if you have been hurt by the Church or
Christians you are in good company. Some of them may have actually been well
meaning, thinking that He was a threat to the faith. This brings us to the next
point.
2. Sometimes we are hurt by those who think
they are doing the right thing. The case could be made that Saul thought he
was doing the right thing by persecuting the Church. The Bible says that Jesus
said this to Saul...it is hard to kick against the goads. The short story on
this statement is that God had been working on Saul for a long time. He wanted
to serve God but he did it all wrong.
3. Christians are saved from sin but still not
perfect. I could go on and on about this one! What I am about to write will
maybe shock you...just because someone is a Christian doesn’t mean they have
acquired grace. Every hurt I have experienced at the hands of Christians could
have been avoided if there are had been grace. Grace is the missing ingredient
to perfect Christian living. (During this
time of transition this is what God is teaching me, I have a long way to go and
a lot more to learn about this!) I have to pray every day that God would
help me extend grace, it’s hard!
4. What happens in Church isn’t always blessed
by God. I want to be very clear on this...it is never God’s plan for anyone
to be hurt in the Church or by other believers. I know firsthand that many,
many times things happened under my leadership that was not of God’s making.
Even some things I have done! We will get to that later. What I want to say
here is, don’t blame God for the hurt that you experience in the Church!
5. Often the Pastor or leader of the Church
isn’t aware of the hurt that is being caused. When I left one of the
previous churches I pastored I started hearing some things that shocked me about
how some members of the congregation were treating others. In one case a couple
was actually telling people they didn’t belong and should leave. I was
mortified by this, but what made it worse was that these people thought it was
coming from me. I know this is hard to do sometimes but take it your Pastor,
believe me he needs to know, he wants to know!
6. This is the hard one, it is possible that
you too have hurt someone. This is where self-examination is needed. You
would think that someone who has been hurt would be more sensitive, often that
isn’t the case. If fact, show me a hurt person and I will show you a person who
is predisposed to hurt others. Take a hard and honest look at yourself and let
God change you.
7. This is spiritual! One of the things I
am coming to recognize is that everything and I mean everything has an element
of the spiritual attached to it. Over the years I have noticed that I have been
hurt more in my Christian relationships than the others. Why? Because the evil
one is working against us. He wants to discourage us and make us feel like we
are alone. He will take every advantage to disrupt our walk with Jesus. That hurt
is really a spiritual attack from the enemy. See it for what it is...an attempt
not only to destroy your relationships with the Church and other believers, but
ultimately to destroy your relationship with God. Don’t you dare let him win!
Let me encourage you with something God is showing me...He
wants me to use my hurts to help the hurting.
Blessed be the God and
Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who
comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who
are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by
God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
I don’t know about you but I’m fine with that!
