Yesterday I said the only way to avoid bitterness is to forgive. Let me give you a warning about forgiving people. It is important to remember that the way bitterness works is through the seed of offense. We are offended by something someone does and then it turns into bitterness. But it is very important to remember that just because you are offended doesn’t mean you are right. So if you judged a person wrong and then you go to them and forgive they may reject your offer of forgiveness because they did nothing wrong.
Forgiveness, more often than not, isn’t something that you have to proclaim; it is something you must do in your own heart. Many times the person you forgive doesn’t need to be a part of the process. By going to them and forgiving you may offend and start them down the road to bitterness. Forgiveness is something YOU do. It is a choice YOU make. And be careful that you don’t become offended because someone doesn’t come to you asking for forgiveness. After all they might not have done anything wrong.
So make sure before you go to someone and express forgiveness that you examine your motives for doing so. Is it possible that you are telling them you forgive them in order to extract some kind of apology? If so them you aren’t really forgiving and the bitterness will continue to grow, especially if they don’t apologize.
The reason we forgive is to be in a place where God can forgive us. Remember the goal of forgiveness should always be restoration not accusation. So forgive but be careful that your act of forgiveness doesn’t birth a new seed of bitterness. Refuse to be bitter.
Next Sunday I will be talking about the next step after refusing bitterness. See you then!
